Short
fences kept Italian folks neighborly (and helped our early ancestors
succeed)
Most of the memories I recall from my childhood concern my close circle
of family, as they were the ones who cast the greatest reflection on
my life.
However,
there were times when the perfect stranger became a close part of my
daily life and in the process became a part of our family.
There
were many strangers who moved into our old Italian neighborhoods, but
they didn't remain strangers for very long. A good reason for that was
the close proximity between houses. And also the fact that there were
no tall fences between our yards to promote privacy or impede socializing.
Most
people in the neighborhood didn't need or want that kind of privacy.
What they wanted was a good friend and what they needed was help from
their neighbors, help with their daily chores and harvesting, or perhaps
a hammer and a handful of penny nails.
Borrowing
supplies from one another was commonplace, things such as: garden equipment,
canning jars for the fruit season, wine barrels or a winepress for the
making of wine, or maybe just an old fashioned helping hand.
No
one family had everything necessary to run a large household or to harvest
their backyard fruit trees, but each family had at least one item or
tool that their neighbor lacked and eventually, through sharing with
each other, every homeowner would have what they needed to succeed.
It
was with this kind of sharing with neighbors that my immigrant grandparents
set up housekeeping at the start of the 20th century. After arriving
here from Italy, they moved into communities where other Italian immigrants,
like themselves, had already settled or were settling in.
The
young immigrants helped each other build homes; plant seeds, cultivates
their orchards and created a close knit Italian American community for
themselves and their families. The path between houses was never unused
long enough to sprout a weed. I believe the success of the Italian American
community was due not only to the help garnered from neighbors but to
the fact that each household knew their neighbor was available to offer
help when it was needed.
Later,
in the 1940s, when my parents (the second-generation Italian Americans),
set up housekeeping, it was in a more eclectic neighborhood in a different
part of
town. But still the short fences remained between houses. These waist
high fences were an open invitation for communication between neighbors.
In
those days, the communicating of information between friends didn't
come through a cell phone, a computer or email message. It was spread
though word of mouth over the back fences of town. Talking to our neighbors
over the fence was as common as today's cell phone user.
When
dad landscaped his new yard, he marked off his property with a short,
flimsy fence, made of wire and wood and a little picket fence around
the backyard. It was made that way for a reason, to mark the perimeters
of his property, nothing more, nothing less.
The
height was never more than 3ft and that was for a very good reason.
If it were any higher the homeowners wouldn't be able to see into each
other or see into each other's back yard. And seeing into your neighbors
yard was done, not out of curiosity, but to watch over each other's
homes as we would watch over our own.
Because
of the waist high fences we could watch as our neighbors went about
their household chores, mowing the lawns, pruning the trees, shelling
the walnut harvest, planting the vegetable gardens, raking and burning
the autumn leaves. And with each chore, our next door neighbors knew
that we could be counted on to lend a hand, or a tool to help make that
job a little easier.
And,
in turn, they would do the same for our family. Each household helping
one another created a strong bond among the community and eventually
personal success for its people and its neighborhoods.
Neighbors
were a poignant part of my childhood memories. The sights and sounds
they created while going about their daily lives still resounds in my
memory. I can remember summer days especially well, and how the constant
squeak and bounce of our neighbors screen door was as common to my ears
as the sound of our own back door.
I
can still hear our neighbor, Mrs. Nelson, daily calling out to her boys,
"Don't let the screen door slam"! No sooner would she have
said the words and the door would slam shut with a resounding Òbang"!
Such sounds never bothered my household, any more than the amateur trumpet
player, the drum virtuoso, or the player piano that peddled out a tune
every evening.
These
were the sounds of life in progress and they came from every home at
one time or another. On most days it wasn't at all unusual to find our
neighbor's dog resting happily in our backyard while our cat nestled
cozily on the rooftop of our neighbor's doghouse.
When
papa barbecued his homemade Italian sausages the enticing smell of smoky
flavors and spices was always an open invitation to his neighbors to
come over and sample his latest sausage recipe. And, when it was time
for a backyard party on a warm summer night, the party always included
mama's accordion and their surrounding neighbors. A quick call over
the back fence, or the welcoming wave of a hand, was the only invitation
needed between friends.
Having
a short fence made it easy to talk to the families that grew up next
door to us, to observe their family events as they happened; to share
in their special closeness, celebrating their joys and experiencing
each other's sorrows and losses.
In
the afternoon, when Mom set the coffee pot on to boil, the freshly perked
aroma, wafting through the air, signaled her next door friends that
coffee was about to be served.
The
coffee ritual was another form of communication between neighbors. Each
woman brought with her some family news, or neighborhood gossip. They
shared a little story or family advice with each other before returning
home to their busy workday.
Weekends
brought the neighborhood men outside to sharpen the blades on their
push lawn mowers, tinker on a broken household appliance or garden tool
and socialize with each other about baseball and politics.
Today,
like most modern homes, a 6-foot high fence surrounds my backyard. Visiting
my neighbors over the back fence is virtually impossible, let alone
seeing them at all. If I need a tool I buy one at the local home &
garden specialty shop. If I crave a barbecue dinner I go out to the
nearest restaurant and order one. And because most households in my
neighborhood employ gardeners, I rarely see a neighbor out mowing their
lawn, or pruning their rose bushes.
There's
a Supermarket or Quick Stop on every corner of town leaving us little
need to borrow a cup of sugar from a neighbor.
Yes, we've come a long way since our impoverished grandparents first
set up housekeeping on the poorer sides of town. And, yes, we are monetarily
better off today then our ancestors were back then. My parents and grandparent's
lives were simpler ones compared to today's high tech modern lifestyle.
And their personal processions much less adorned.
But
what they would give us, in lessons learned, was priceless; that a neighbor's
friendship was a precious possession, and with a neighbor's help they
would experience the sharing of customs, the richness of traditions,
successfully constructing an Italian American community and farmed their
lands with the help of each others muscles and tools.