REMEMBERING Dr.Leo Buscaglia, (THE "HUG" DOCTOR), and the faith he had in this novice writer by Cookie Curci
Anyone who enjoys reading a good book or watching public television is acquainted with the words of human-relations author Leo Felice Buscaglia (a.k.a. "The Hug Doctor"). The world- renowned writer, lecturer and former columnist for the New York Times sold nearly 11 million copies of his popular books during his career.
Among them: Living, Loving, and Learning, Loving Each Other, Love, Bus 9 to Paradise and his 15th and last bestseller, The Love Cookbook. Writing extensively on the subject of love and selfless giving, Leo was known worldwide as the Doctor of Love. Much of this Italian American's inherited kindness and caring was inspired by his parents who emigrated from Aosta, Italy, a region in NW Italy, bordering on France in the West and on Switzerland in the North. There is an old saying, "If you want something done, ask a busy man to do it." Dr. Buscaglia exemplified this motto.
As founder of the Felice Foundation (pronounced "feh- lee-chay, the Italian word for peace and joy), he dedicated his time and funding to the education of elementary school children on the importance of selfless giving. "Oftentimes, children need to be reminded that their greatest joy can be to give of themselves. The real gifts are those that are given just because you want to give them," Leo told the children.
"My father used to tell us that it cost nothing to be nice, but, oh my, what rewards come from it." Inspired by this belief in human nature, The Felice Foundation produced a video, A Memory for Tino, based on a poignant children's book written by Leo. The Felice Foundation made the video available to elementary schools as a teaching tool on the importance of friendships and giving.
Tino, the 10- year-old title character, extends himself to the "neighborhood witch," whom he soon discovers is no witch at all, but a kind and giving elderly lady with a great recipe for chocolate chip cookies. The story emphasizes intergenerational friendships; a subject many believe has been too long absent from elementary textbooks. Some of Hollywood's finest participated in the production of this film. Henry Mancini donated the soundtrack; it was a project he believed strongly in.
The film was dedicated to his memory. Actress Susan Sullivan, who played Tino's mother, also donated her work to the film. Production work was donated by Todd A-O Productions, as well as other companies. "Our goal," Leo said, "is to make this video available to all elementary schools and youth groups across the nation and eventually to all senior citizen programs at no charge to them." The Felice Foundation has covered production costs, but distribution charges still must be met.
A Memory for Tino is available nationally by satellite to schools subscribing to the educational broadcast service of the Public Broadcasting System. Approximately 30,000 schools have access to this satellite program, and I'm proud to say our own San Jose Unified School District has recently made the video available.
This tradition of giving began many years ago when Leo was traveling in Hong Kong. It was there he met a Chinese refugee named Wong, who, with his family, was living in poverty. In order to find work, Wong needed to learn English. Leo paid for Wong's tuition to an English language school. Years later, Wong was prepared to pay back what he saw as a great debt. Instead, he was encouraged by Dr. Buscaglia to give the money to another person who showed Wong's determination.
In this way it might continue to touch many lives. Dr. Buscaglia took a personal interest in the lives of everyone he came in contact with, including this writer. It was through the mail that I would come to know this inspirational philosopher. I received my first letter from Dr. Buscaglia at a time when I needed it most.
His words really shored up my ego about my potential as a writer. His encouraging letter arrived, like a warm and much needed hug. It came the day I had firmly decided to give up my fledgling career as a writer. Like many housewives, I was caught between my desire for creativity and the age-old need to be a diligent homemaker, a devoted wife and a dutiful daughter.
I was finding it nearly impossible to jug- gle all of these demands on my time and energy. Between my daily bouts with the laundry, household responsibilities, unmade beds, dirty dishes and a part-time job, I was trying to finish a short story. I was feeling especially frustrated that morning, and overwhelmed by my mounting housework. I decided something would have to go--and it would have to be my writing career. I chucked my old manual typewriter into the darkest corner of my closet, wadded up my manuscript into a tight little ball and tossed it into the wastebasket.
I'd leave the writing to the writers of the world. The end. Or so I thought, until I opened my morning mail That day, in my mail I found a small, inconspicuous envelope. The return address read, Dr. Leo Buscaglia, Glenbrook, NV. I recognized the name immediately. I had written the famous author several months before, complimenting him on his remarkable career and his recent book, Bus 9 to Paradise.
I also mentioned that he and I came from very similar Italian backgrounds, that I also enjoyed writing and I enclosed one of my unpublished manuscripts in my letter. I never dreamed that the renowned author of 15 bestsel- lers would personally take the time to write me a return letter. I read and reread his words, especially his encouraging last few lines: "You have a great deal to give, and you have found the perfect way in which to give it. You write very well, in an easy free-flowing style that fills the reader's mind with rich images of the past."
Leo's words shored up my ego, his written words kept me going and we wrote back and forth for many years until his death in 1998. Through him I found a new belief in myself, and a renewed interest in my writing. I went back to my old battered typewriter, unfolded my crinkled manu- script and set myself some new goals--no matter how many unmade beds and dirty dishes stood in my way. My husband, who had the talent and capabilities to sink a birdie putt at 30 feet, but couldn't manage to open a can of soup or pick up a wet towel for himself, finally agreed to help out with the household chores leaving me more time for my writing.
After receiving that first letter from Dr. Buscaglia we began a regular correspondence, and because of his encouraging words I never gave up my passion for writing. I'll always remember one letter in particular. It arrived after I had written Leo that I was struggling between ironing and cleaning for my husband and finding time to write. Leo, ever thoughtful and possessing a rye sense of humor, enclosed an article in his letter he'd found in an English newspaper.
In it, a reporter had asked the husband of Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher "who wore the pants in his household." His reply, "I wear the pants in my house of course... I also wash and iron them!" That humorous little article gave me the courage to finish my manuscript and many more like it. I wrote of the things I knew, my beloved and extended Italian family, my memories of friends and of my community.
My collection of these stories filled my file cabi- nets. One day, upon Leo's suggestion, I submitted my work to the editor of my local newspaper. The editor liked what I had to say and printed my letter as an article in the newspaper. The article was well received, especially by the Italian population.
The editor asked me to write a column for the newspaper. I've been writing a nostalgia column ever since. That old manuscript? Well, it was published along with several of my other stories in a series of books by Morrow publications. "Christmas Miracles", "Mother's Miracles", "Opening the Gifts of Christmas."
More stories were published in the new book series "Chicken Soup for the Grandparent's Soul", "Chicken Soup for the Grandmother's Soul" and "Chicken Soup to Inspire a Woman's Soul", 10 books in all. Thanks to Leo's letters, I never gave up trying. Like Leo always said, "The greatest failure is the failure to try." Many of us have probably given up just when with a bit more persistence and patience we could have made it.
A letter or word of inspiration, given at just the right moment, can give someone that much-needed encouragement. I'm grateful Professor Leo Buscaglia came into my life at just the right time and so generously shared with me those all important words of encouragement.
10631 Vinedale Street, Sun Valley, CA 91352 - Phone (818) 767-3413 - Fax: (818) 767-1410
